Finally Allowed to Post!

As I mentioned in the last post, we received our pre-approval from the CCAA the other day.  When passing that info on, our agency said it meant that we are now allowed to send Didi a care package, and also to "share the news at our discretion."  I asked what exactly that means.  "Am I allowed to post him on the blog?"  I thought we needed our LOA for that.  However, they just kept saying that we're allowed to say whatever we want, to whomever we wish, in whatever manner we see fit, but to be smart about it.  So, I am taking that as a "yes" (because I did ask specifically about the blog situation, and no one flat out said no), and am posting the piece I wrote back when we first accepted his file.  It's been sitting on the computer; just waiting to go up!  It's slightly edited, and I'll write updated info and commentary below, but I wanted to keep the main entry pretty much as it originally was. So, without further ado:

Striking a MATCH Lights a Fire in Our Heart - from April 29, 2010
So, Josh was out of town a few days this week for a meeting up in DC.  Monday night we were busy getting him packed up, doing laundry, etc., when I opened my email account.  Much to my surprise, there was an email from the Waiting Child Dept. asking if we are prepared to review the file of a prospective child match.    We were a little stunned to have this come so out of the blue, particularly since our paperwork still isn't all done, and we haven't reviewed the home study documents, but we have been warned all along that because of the criteria we've listed, we could be matched very quickly.  Nice timing though, I thought, because he's about to get on a plane!  Anyway, we agreed to look at the file, as long as they didn't need an answer within 48 hours.

The next morning the file arrived, and I opened it to see the picture of an adorable little boy with chubbier cheeks  than I ever imagined would come along with my "scrawny, under-nourished Chinese orphan."  I knew in the back of my mind that I must not get too attached yet though.  Must read the details thoroughly. Be objective. But he's very cute... my brain was complete mush.  I literally can't think of another time when I felt so thoroughly incapable of putting together a coherent thought.  I had to call Hana and ask her what the word was to get from kilograms to pounds. I literally could not think of the word to Google! (it's CONVERT!)  But I was trying to process the information in this file, and desperately wishing Josh wasn't in another state.

I managed to get a couple questions sent off to the appropriate people, and was proud of myself for being able to maintain a little distance emotionally.  Josh, being the supremely logical thinker that he is, noticed far more details in the file that needed some explanation, and sent a constant stream of questions by phone and text.  "But you have to admit, Josh, he is a very cute baby?!" I replied. No comment. He's very good at keeping a poker face, to say the least.  I wasn't concerned that Josh was thinking about turning this one down simply because of his lack of emotional response.  I knew he's just good at separating emotions from facts in big decisions, which is especially important when one's wife is so emotional!  So I was pretty flabbergasted when I received a random text Wednesday morning saying "we WILL take him. I love you."  What? Um, OK, great, but how'd you come to this?  He couldn't answer at the time because he was at work, but my mind was spinning.  We had very few answers to our questions, but we were saying yes regardless.

As Wednesday chugged on, I spent a good portion of the day on the phone with various agency reps and trying to gather as much information as I could.  They continually reminded me that we are in control of the decision, and if we were to reject this file, it was really ok.  But I knew now that that wasn't an option for us.  Finally, at about 10:30 in the evening, Josh and I were able to talk.  I filled him in on all the details I'd gotten cleared up through all my efforts, and then sat back to listen to his explanation of why we were going with this child (not that I was in any way opposed to it, mind you.  I was just so ready to hear his side.)  His reasons were fourfold:

1. He said that even before we'd even known anything about this file, he'd been praying that the first file we received would be THE file.  He didn't want to reject any child, and was trusting God to bring us the right match.

2. Technically speaking, the child does fit right in with the conditions we'd committed to in our application.

3.  We have said all along that we were going into this like a regular pregnancy.  We take what comes and deal with it.  This child's conditions do meet what we said we'd take, and if this child were born to us, we wouldn't reject him because of any of this.

4.  Even though this child was on the older side of what we said we'd accept, there wasn't really any point in holding out for a younger one.  Really, in the scope of a lifetime, what's 3 - 5 months?  Then, he paused, "This is where I get deep," he said. The moment we trust in God for our salvation, we are adopted into His family.  We become His sons and daughters.  But God accepts us at any time.  He doesn't look at a 75 year old man who is repenting and say "No. Sorry. I mean, if you'd come to me when you were 4 or 5 then I'd take you because I'd have more time with you from the start."  No. He accepts us regardless. As is. Whenever we come.  In the same way, this little one will become our son in every way, even though he will be at least 18  months old by the time we get to bring him home.

As you can imagine, I was completely teary-eyed by this point.  It was one of those moments when I was reminded that he really is a wonderful guy, and it was so reassuring to be reminded once again that he is as dedicated to this child and this process as I am.  We are completely on the same page!

So, for all intents and purposes, we have a match!  Officially, there's still a bunch of paperwork to be done, and he's still not legally ours until we travel and go to court in China.  But he's put in our file and he's our little man! YAY!!!!

I know you're thinking "All right already... details please!"

(about 10 months old)

Name: Tian Cheng - Tian is his first name (Tee-Yan).  Cheng is the middle name (the e is pronounced like a short U: Chung).  In the interest of "playing it safe," I'm going to withhold his surname for now.  I don't know that this actually makes any difference, but we'll call it my attempt at discretion. We will give him an English name, or at least some sort of fusion thing that's more user-friendly for us Americans, but we have not made a final decision on that at the moment.  So we are calling him "Didi" for now, which means "younger brother" in Chinese (pronounced Deedee).  Disclaimer: I still don't speak any Chinese really ("Ni Hao Kai Lan" can only get you so far...) so all these pronunciations are my best efforts.

Age: Pretty much 3 months younger than Benjamin.  He was found abandoned outside a pediatric medical facility, which most likely means his mother wanted him to be found and cared for.  No information on his birth parents.

(about 2 months old)

Medical Condition:  He was born with a Cleft Lip/Cleft Palate.  The lip was repaired in December, and the palate will most likely be repaired in June**, unless we decide to wait until we bring him home.

Care: He is obviously well fed, and being cared for in a really nice foster facility.  We are very thankful that he's in such excellent hands right now!

What do our other kids think?  They're excited to see their Didi.  Annie carried his picture around all night.  Gracie's excited to show her classmates.  Benjamin drooled and tried to eat the picture.  Get used to it, Didi!

(about 1 year old, I think)

So, that's all for now. I'm still fuzzy brained. Been too excited to sleep much.  So, I apologize if this isn't quite as coherent as it was in my head.  Please feel free to comment and leave questions. I'm sure I haven't covered everything...

...oh, and now that we know it's a boy... get going on those Bai Jia Bei squares!  Can't wait to see what else comes in!  :)
** He had a successful palate surgery at the end of June/beginning of July and is doing well.

Update for questions:  Andrea asked when we get to go bring him home.  Being matched already doesn't really change our timeline at this point, unfortunately.  We still most likely have about a 5 - 6 month wait from the time our dossier is logged in to China, which can't happen until July.  So, probably no earlier than late November.  We're praying that everything goes really smoothly and efficiently so we don't have to wait any longer than that.  First we have to have our US child immigration paperwork processed to allow us to bring in an immigrant child.  Then once my birthday comes, our dossier can be turned over to China.  Then China has to approve us to adopt. Then China has to process us specifically for this child. Then once all that happens, it's back to US immigration for permission to bring this specific child home, THEN we can go get him.  Somehow now that I've seen his face, that seems like a lifetime away!

Warning: Leaving flashback mode and re-entering "The Now."  After reading it over, editing some minor grammatical issues and re-posting, I think we're pretty ok.  So, if you have any other questions... pass them along.  You know how I love feedback!