Crazy

Today I am excited to tell you all about an new adventure that I have coming up. No… it requires nothing from you; I would just like to ask you all to pray as we head forward in what I feel very strongly is something that God is working out.

Those of you who are Facebook friends with me may have noticed a few weeks ago that I put a picture of a little boy in a paper hat, holding markers, as my profile picture. His name is Jack, and he was at Maria’s Big House of Hope with Asher until a few months ago.

Last summer, a woman named Deborah traveled to MBHOH with other sponsors to volunteer over there for a week, at which time she met Jack. Deborah and her husband Dan have four children already; two adopted from China and two born to them. 

Deb didn't go to China looking for another child, but after meeting Jack, she heard God call her and Dan to adopt him, and they began their paperwork just a few weeks after she returned from China.

Their paperwork, however, has been met with what has seemed like an abnormal amount of delays, and though they thought they would already be traveling to bring Jack home by now, they are still a couple months away.

In addition to the many delays in paperwork, this family also recently received another somewhat unexpected twist in the plotline of their story. Deborah’s husband Dan is in the army, and although he seemed to be at the bottom of the list for deployment, they received word about a month ago that he will be shipping out in July for a year of duty in Afghanistan. In addition to many other reasons why this is not exactly ideal is the fact that it leaves Deborah on her own to travel to bring Jack home. This is where our stories merge.

I should take a moment to tell you here that Deb and I have never actually met in person. Up until short while ago, we only knew each other through Facebook. We have many mutual, Show Hope-related friends, and she is included in the group of people whom I affectionately “stalked” for info on and pictures of Asher after their time with him at Maria’s last summer, but that was pretty much the extent of our relationship. We noticed that we would leave similar comments on people’s posts and whatnot, but that was it. When I read that Dan was deploying, the first thing that popped into my head was “She’s going to need someone to travel with her to bring Jack home.” That thought was immediately followed by “Katie Green, you need to go with her.” Note here that the thought wasn’t “I need to go with her,” but it was in the third person, like I didn’t come up with the thought myself. I immediately dismissed it though. It was crazy. “Who would volunteer to go to the other side of the world with someone they’ve never met? I can’t leave my kids. Josh would never let me go. Besides, she probably has someone lined up anyway. I mean, it’s not like Dan is new to the army. They know how this goes, and she’s been to China twice. She knows the drill…” The arguments went on and on in my head. Still, I wrote her and asked who was going to go with her. The correspondence went back and forth kind of like this:

“Deb, who’s going with you to get Jack?”

“My sister is. She’s a teacher, and as long as we’re back by Labor Day, she’s fine to go.”

“Oh good! I’m glad to hear you have someone because… well… you’re going to think I’m crazy for saying this, but… I thought I was supposed to go with you. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I would love to go with you. I really want to go back to China… but that’s crazy, right? I mean, I can’t leave my kids. And you don’t even know me. What a crazy thought! Haha… right?”

“Um… haha… ya… well, it’s kinda weird that you would say that because… you’ll never believe this, but before we knew for sure that Dan was deploying, I mean, we knew it was a possibility and were discussing options for ‘what ifs,’ Dan asked me what I would do if he was sent out before we brought Jack home, and my immediate response was ‘You know who should go with me? Katie Green should go with me! But that’s crazy. Who asks someone they’ve never met, who has four kids of her own, to go to the other side of the world with them? That’s crazy!’, to which Dan immediately responded ‘Who’s Katie Green?’ Well, that is weird that you had that thought too. If my sister wasn’t able to go, I’d think God was trying to tell us something…”

You can probably guess by now where this is headed. Or maybe I’m such a predictable writer that you guessed it two lines in, but I hope my novel here has at least been entertaining, if nothing else. Deb’s paperwork continued to be delayed and eventually her estimated travel window was pushed back too far and her sister was forced to resign from her post of “official travel buddy” because it was too close to when she needed to be back at work. It would seem, indeed, that God WAS trying to tell us something: that for reasons neither of us can really understand, but we’re both really excited about, He wants me to travel with Deborah to bring Jack home.

I won’t go into all the details of me wrestling with how on earth I was going to ask Josh to let me leave him and the kids to join someone I haven’t met on a two week trip to China, but it was an interesting and growing process. In the end, I can say that I am blessed to have a husband who, if nothing else, believes that I am convinced that this is God’s will, and is sensitive enough to this thought, and desires to obey God’s call enough that he is willing to let me pursue it… with one condition: I have to find someone to take care of the kids for the time I’m gone.

So, this is where we currently are in the process. Deborah is awaiting immigration approval so that Jack can be allowed into the U.S., and then she will have just a few more documents to wait for. Hopefully, if all stays on track, she will be headed to bring him home sometime at the end of the summer. I am praying, and I ask you to join me in this prayer, that God will make clear who is supposed to hold down the fort while I’m gone.

I have already met with some skepticism about my leaving. Can’t someone else go with Deb? Surely she has several friends who could get away more conveniently than I can… friends who don’t have multiple small children, right? Couldn’t she just ask someone else?

The thing is though, she didn’t ask me. I didn’t ask her. We both felt God’s call in this at different times, completely on our own. That’s part of the reason I’m so sure that He is planning this out. It makes very little sense by our own standards… there are so many variables and so many details to take care of… I can’t make all the puzzle pieces fit on my own, but I think that’s the way it’s supposed to be. I’m not supposed to be able to figure this whole thing out because it’s not all about me. It’s not all about Deborah, and it’s not even all about Jack.

Ever since we left China, I have felt a desperate need to go back. I can’t explain why… it’s not the same as going on a really fun vacation and then thinking, “That was great! Can’t wait to do it again.” It was like I wasn’t finished. I need to go back, and I have no clue why. I’m not headed out on this venture with Deb searching for completion either. In fact, I fully expect to come back even more on fire to return once again. God has placed this inexplicable passion in my heart, and I don’t have a whole lot of direction as to what to do about it at the moment, but that’s ok.

I was discussing this a while back with a wise friend, telling her about how I’ve been praying for direction; “What am I supposed to do about this, God? So many orphans. So many precious kids. I am just one person. What am I supposed to do? Do I give more money? Do I hold a yard sale? Do I sell t-shirts? Collect clothes? Get up in people’s faces more? What do I do?” This wise friend smiled at me and told me that although my heart was in the right place for wanting to help, I was going about it wrong. God doesn’t need me to DO anything for these children. They are His. Sure, He uses willing hearts as His hands and feet to care for the fatherless, but He would still do that whether I stood on a street corner screaming about it or not. She suggested that I change my prayer and thus my perspective. Instead of asking what I am supposed to DO, I should instead ask that, whatever I am doing, wherever I am, He would be glorified by my life. That He would lead me to whatever would bring Him glory. So, I did begin to pray that way. I stopped my late night brainstorming sessions. I stopped trying to figure out what else I could cram into my life that would help a cause much bigger than me, and left it in the hands of the God who is bigger than the problem. A short while later, this whole opportunity with Deborah presented itself.

So, though several of you reading this may think I sound crazy… that wacky Show Hope T-shirt-wearing, adoption-pushing lady has gone off the deep end, it’s ok. Somehow God is going to use this trip for His glory. I can’t even guess what it will look like. On the practical end, it will be almost exactly the same as our trip to Asher back in December. Same stops. Same agency. There’s even a good chance it will even be the same guides and hotels. So, since I’ve been though that part of the process recently enough, I will be able to help Deborah and anticipate some of the needs. I am also completely excited about going on the same trip, but getting to experience it from a completely different point of view. Though Jack’s adjustment and well-being will of course be a major concern, and is part of the reason I’m there, I won’t have a child of my own to be preoccupied with. As many times since we’ve returned from China that I have commented on how I wish I could be a fly on the wall at other families’ Gotcha Day, I will get to do it. I am looking forward to a different perspective on the whole thing.

So, to sum it all up… I’m going back to China… but I would like you to pray as we seek God’s leading for who is supposed to watch the kids and help Josh out while I’m gone. I am confident that God has it all planned out already. I would just like to be able to know the answer too. And please pray also that my focus throughout the whole journey will continue to be on Him and His purpose and His glory. I want to see this whole process through the eyes of the Father who adopted me into His family.

You know I’ll let you know what I find out…

Shipley family photo courtesy of Fly Away Home Photography... it's a beautiful photo. I didn't take it. I have no real rights to it.... just using it to give y'all a visual.