One of the blessings of this process is the people you meet along the way. The adoption process is long. The wait will drive you mad, and it really does seem to pointless and out of control a lot of the time. Last week was particularly difficult for me (for several reasons), but I lost my perspective and have been working to regain it this week. The wait is hard, but it is not pointless. Although I may not see progress, that doesn't mean progress isn't being made. And though it often feels out of control, the truth is that there is never a moment when God doesn't know exactly what it going on. He planned this, and He is working out His plan in His timing - never late. never early.
It's hard to describe the process to an "outsider." It's confusing enough to those of us who are in the middle of it, and to sum it up factually and convey the emotions that go along with it to everyone is no easy task. I'm linking you to a post written today by a sweet friend who is walking through this with us. I think she's done a great job of painting a picture with words:
Waiting, Waiting, Waiting
"Oh the waiting!!! It is hard at times, and at times I feel very at peace. I was trying to think of a good analogy to describe the waiting process to those who have not adopted, and I think I came up with a good one!!
Imagine that you decide to go eat at your favorite restaurant. After careful planning and consideration, you choose the exact place where you want to eat. But wait!! First there is a credit application (application to the adoption agency) to make sure you qualify to eat at Cafe Adoption! Good news- this application only takes a week or two to process!! Yay you passed!!! You get in the car and start to drive over. The drive is like collecting all the paperwork for the dossier. You hit some bumps and red lights, and finally have all the paperwork you need to check in! You arrive to the Cafe Adoption, and walk to the hostess stand. How long of a wait, you inquire. It depends on eleventy billion factors, the hostess tells you. First I will put your name on the list, and review your paperwork to make sure it is in order. When I call your name to seat you at your table, you know you are halfway there (dossier to china or DTC!). You give the gal your name and find a seat. You look around. Oh My. This place is crowded!!! You occasionally hear a name called and see someone yell excitedly and go to their table. Oh wait! Your name is called! You run to the hostess stand, and she tells you that one of your papers has to be re-done (in our case Scott's health form). You want to curse. You actually drive to your friend's house and cry and rant on her shoulder for a while. Then you jump through 45 hoops to get it done as fast as possible. Finally all is ready and the hostess calls your name and takes you to a table!!!! (wahoo!!! Log in Date or LID baby!!!)
You look around the Cafe Adoption, and see other people in various stages of their meal. Some are eating dessert and coffee. Some have only water, and look like they have been seated forever! You start chatting with those nearby, and get to know where they are in the process. You even find a few people on a similar timeline, either slightly ahead or slightly behind you!
Then it happens! Your waiter brings you an appetizer. This is what you have been waiting for! You have been matched with the plate that you specified way back when you filled out the application. (Letter of Intent filed, and Pre-approval for your child is granted!) And this is when it gets fun. The next wait for Letter of Approval (LOA) is crazy. Right now it is running 60-120 days (I am on day 62, but who is counting???). Oh look- the people next to you have gotten their mesal! You congratulate them and ask how long they waited. 137 days??!!!??? You hope you don't wait that long. Another family gets their meal- they only waited 25 days. That timeframe is much more like it! And then the waiter comes by and teases you. He whispers that the chef is working on your dinner now (or that your dossier is out of translation). He tells several people around you the same thing. You are excited to have this progress news, but are upset that your good friend, who was seated the same time as you, and got their appetizer the same time as you, did not hear the waiter whisper yet. That family there was seated way after you, and they are already on dessert!!!!! No fair!! There seems to be no real line, and things happen in spurts.
Finally your meal arrives (LOA!!!!!!!) You know that dessert is pretty much coming in 10ish weeks. First there is more paperwork, then you must be invited to have dessert (travel approval or TA), then finally dessert arrives. You have to sign the final bill (no one complains about the final paperwork in China though, I promise!!) Then you leave to begin your new life.
The LOA wait is crazy, and it really happens that those on the same time-line can get ahead or fall behind.
The Chinese government is on holiday this week (Happy Mid-autumn Moon Festival everyone!!), and there have been rumors that they cleared their desks on Saturday before the holiday. We found out that we were out of translation on Friday. For our LOA to be on the way from China that means our dossier would have had to be reviewed in one day. Not likely. It would take a miracle. It would take a miracle to get our LOA by October 15thwhich is probably the latest date for us to get it to be able to get our Claire before or at her birthday. Keep praying!!!"
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